Office Address
2295 S. Hiawassee Rd, Suite 309
Orlando, FL 32835
Phone: 407-278-1598
Fax:407-203-0803

Dr. Darlene Treese
PO Box 547
Windermere, FL 34786
Cell/Text (480) 296-3358

Three Things To Know About Relationships

"Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important." --Carl Reiner

Mankind by nature is a creature of community and relationships. Throughout every stage of life, nurturing environments contribute to our self esteem, confidence, health and well-being and overall quality of life. Getting along is energizing and uplifting. And on the flip side, disharmony disrupts and destroys, creates chaos and confusion and keeps us from being at optimal levels mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

There are countless books and articles about how to manipulate others to get what you want. They may bring you temporary relief, marginal victories and a false sense of being in control. But for greater benefit and lasting results, you may instead consider these suggestions to "take everything personally" in a healthy and expansive way. Being self-aware is the most unselfish thing you can add to any relationship.

• Each person comes into a relationship with their own baggage from past experiences and life events. Often these are subconscious responses of past memories cued into the present by a misinterpreted look, word, tone or gesture. When you find yourself over-reacting, spend some time emotionally detaching and thinking about when that response first occurred for you. It's easy to give all the blame to your partner, but it's always our own stuff that's reflected back to us. If your partner over-reacts, rather than becoming defensive and accusatory, offer your observation of upset and reaffirm your intention to "do no harm", apologizing for whatever your part in this may have been. This gives your partner the space for self reflection (should they choose to do so) without guilt or blame or pressure to explain.
  
  
• You are responsible for your own happiness. If a relationship was founded to fill a void, it probably will not bear the weight of obligation to always fulfill it. It's OK to give each other room and space - but that doesn't mean to pace off, turn around and fire at each other. It's easy to find compromise, especially when you consider all the things that bring you happiness. If you agree to participate in an activity your partner enjoys but you do not, notice how much pleasure it gives you to see them happy. Be involved and interactive. "Be where you are when you're there" rather than physically being in one place while mentally in another.
  
  
• Have HEART. Sandra Strauss uses this acronym to remind us of what every person desires in good communication. Our universal needs are to be:
  H - heard and honored
  E - encouraged and empowered
  A - appreciated and accepted
  R - respected and recognized
  T - trusted and treasured
  
  People usually respond according to your expectations of them and what you give to yourself and others is what you get back. If you feel that you are lacking HEART, be sure to give it first.
  

Need some help with your relationship?

Dr. Darlene Treese, LPC, LMHC, has been in private practice since 1983. She offers sessions at her Orlando office, as well as telephone and email consultations.

The services she offers include premarital and relationship counseling, marriage enrichment, personality tests and couple compatibility inventories, communication and mediation skills, dealing with the hard problems of abuse, addictions and affairs, CSI (couple sensitive individual therapy), Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce, and surviving divorce and single parenting.

Call her today at 407-278-1598 or email her at AskDrTreese@gmail.com or visit her website - www.AskDrTreese.com. Life is too short to be unhappy and the answers and clarity you seek may be only a phone call away.